A few years ago I read an article in Real Simple that talked about complaining. I don't want to be a complainer, so I read the article to my husband and we discussed it, as well as our complaints. I can't say I have stopped complaining, but I am trying. So here are the things the article discussed that I am trying to stop complaining about:
1. The weather - everyone who can hear you is dealing with the same weather, when its hot we want it cold, when its cold we want it hot. I grew up in California, the weather was perfect, but we always complained about the coastal wind. When I go back now I love that coastal breeze. My husband and I agreed that since we like the warm better than the cold, we would never again complain on a hot day. After all, Winter is always just around the corner.
2. Traffic - again everyone deals with it. And if you are in the thick of it, so are the people listening to you complain. I don't like traffic and I avoid it. My husband usually works odd hours and doesn't hit the commuter crowd, but occasionally he can't avoid it. So when he gets home on those days I try not to complain about his lateness, after all he was the one sitting in the immovable throng. It could be worse.
3. Being busy - is it really so bad to be busy. I am really bad about this one. I think I thrive on busyness, and while I think I complain about being busy to excuse my scatter brain, I don't want it to come across as bragging. Yes, my life is busy and truthfully, I like it that way.
4. Tired - too relative, most of us are tired. Sometimes I find this becomes my easy answer to "How are you?" I think I use tired as an excuse for forgetfulness too. There are times when I think, "If I pass out in public will they call an ambulance? And if they do does that mean I get to sleep at a hospital?" Realistically I know that sleeping in a hospital isn't restful, but tired plays tricks on us. I'm tired, you are probably tired, none of us gets enough sleep. Yes, I AM TIRED, but you don't need to hear about it. I'm giving this complaint up. One time I fell asleep standing up,doing the dishes, it has been worse.
5. Fat - if you're not really, then complaining about it is insulting and if you are, then you risk an uncomfortable silence that can be hurtful. The reality is I want my twenty-two-year-old body back, but I don't want to be twenty-two again. I like who I am now. I feel good, I'm comfortable with who I am, I'm trying to be better in many ways. This is one three-letter word I am tossing out of my vocabulary, for my sake and the sake of my daughters.
So there it is, my list of forbidden topics. I'm giving up complaining and never looking back, or at least until someone cuts me off on the freeway.