Monday

A Little Irritation... The Death of Manners?

On Friday night I took my kids to Olive Garden sans husband.  The wait was 30 minutes but my daughter insisted on eating there.  It was supposed to be our special night out together while dad was off camping.  The place was packed (why do people like Olive Garden?).  My three-year-old son wanted to be held.  Mind you, I am very pregnant.  In fact, earlier in the day at my pre-natal I was told that my baby was large enough to be born right now!  Anyway, we wait.  People keep opening the doors and my son is cold so further inside.  I am now leaning against a wall, because I can't hold my 45 pound son and stand up on my own at the same time.  There is a 'man' sitting on the bench just inches from me.  A young, 20-something man.  He's busy texting.  There is no way he doesn't notice me.  There are two other men in close proximity who, though the room is full of standing women, some elderly, don't budge.

Let's get something straight.  This is not a man vs. woman; feminism issue in my mind.  I am not old fashioned when it comes to women's rights.  I think I am perfectly capable of doing everything a man can, and then some.  But didn't that guy's parents teach him any manners?  If there were a single dad standing next to me struggling with a baby and a toddler and I were by myself, I would have gotten up and given him my seat.  And even if I had my kids... I would have made some effort to help him.  I'd give my seat to an old lady or an old man.  I would offer to move over.

I watched him.  When his wife finally arrived, he didn't get up for her either.  When the other couple they were meeting arrived he stayed seated.  When his little buzzer deal went off, he got up.

I thought of saying something.  I texted my husband about it.  My text included some choice words.  He texted back, "You should have said something."  What was I going to say?  I would have been the crazy hormonal woman and it wouldn't have made a bit of difference to him.

But what about manners?  What about taking a look around you every once in a while?  What about offering a helping hand?  Are manners and just simple courtesy dead?

10 comments:

Sarah said...

What a turd! I give up MY seat for elderly and other women, why wouldn't a man do the same!?
I've even had ladies give up their seats for me, since I'm 8 months pregnant.

I don't think it is a man vs woman thing either, I think it is just good manners to give up some room for someone that needs it more than you do. What a pity his mama didn't teach him better.

Candace said...

That's why we have to be sure to teach our kids manners! Too many generations have forgotten they exist!

Amy said...

I agree! People seem to have gotten more selfish these days. We have a difficult time at our apt. complex with people blocking our parking spot because their are too lazy too look for an open one. Bad manners indeed.

Karen said...

How frustrating! People just come off as rude and selfish when they act like that. Of course, when I see someone actually move or get up for an elderly person or pregnant lady, I'm always taken off guard -- so sad that I have that reaction because it just doesn't happen that often!

Jilly said...

I noticed that the other day at the Cheesecake Factory. A whole group of prom kids came in, and none of their dates opened the doors for them. They all walked feet in front of their dates, and just didn't act like it was a special occasion. Hopefully we can all raise our kids with manners, and how we treat women, elderly, and the like.....

somewhereinthyme said...

A lot of people have not been taught manners. We are naturally selfish and self-centered but this fault must be overcome. My friend went to Starbucks recently with her stroke recovering and semi-handicapped husband, the person who finally got up and gave them her table was a woman who was obviously undergoing chemotherapy. She felt his pain and gave up her seat. We need to look around and notice others and be more giving.Come on folks let's be more sensitive to the needs of others.

Lisita said...

This is shocking to me. I would have given you my seat Aly! I hope manners aren't dead but agree that it feels like it sometimes!

Kick-It Marketing said...

I have been the recipient of some very good mannered people. After having twins I had so many people help me with doors, my stroller or in many other occassions where it was obvious that I just did not have enough hands or patience. Thank you to all of you who have helped me. Manners are not completely dead, but I think it is our responsiblity as parents to make sure manners don't die with our children so there will be at least someone willing to offer a helping hand, a seat, open a door or just be observant of a need.

Travis Cable said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Travis Cable said...

I ask my son (7) at least a few times a week if he was nice to the girls at school and held the door for them, etc. I always tell him that girls are special and that he should treat them all like his mom and sister.

Manners really come from what you are taught by your parents...

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