It is midnight and I just returned from seeing this movie. thoughtful sigh. First of all, it was longer than I expected and just a little different than I expected. I have not read the book. I did see an interview with the author on Oprah (does that count?).
There is a moment in the movie when her friend chuckles and notes that she used to look like her ex, but now she looks like her current beau. Kinda like how people begin to resemble their dogs.
I have heard similar comments before. I have heard, "You didn't like to do that before you met him" or "Isn't that his thing?" I can see that I have a tendency to throw myself into relationships so deeply that I don't really exist after a while. Consciousness if the first step in correction.
So, I have learned through trial and error not to let this happen to me. I have done a lot of soul searching and have figured out how to keep myself intact and still be in love with my significant other. After all, I am the one he fell in love with in the first place, right?
But what about this same concept as it relates to motherhood? Have you ever loved anything so much as you love your children? We would, and DO, sacrifice and suffer for them. The other day in the drive-thru line, my six-year-old daughter told me that one day I would understand how much she loves me. Guess where she got that?
There is no way to measure a mother's love, no way to even understand it unless you are a mother. So can we fall into this trap as mothers? Can we be too selfless? Can we give to them until there is nothing left of us? Is it selfish to take care of ourselves too? I don't really know the correct answers to these questions.
But for myself, I think I will try to maintain a balance me between me: the mom, and me: the person. It's like on an airplane, when your oxygen mask falls, you are supposed to secure your mask first, then assist others. You can't help anyone when you are passed out on the aircraft floor.