A Little Irritation... The Death of Manners?

On Friday night I took my kids to Olive Garden sans husband.  The wait was 30 minutes but my daughter insisted on eating there.  It was supposed to be our special night out together while dad was off camping.  The place was packed (why do people like Olive Garden?).  My three-year-old son wanted to be held.  Mind you, I am very pregnant.  In fact, earlier in the day at my pre-natal I was told that my baby was large enough to be born right now!  Anyway, we wait.  People keep opening the doors and my son is cold so further inside.  I am now leaning against a wall, because I can't hold my 45 pound son and stand up on my own at the same time.  There is a 'man' sitting on the bench just inches from me.  A young, 20-something man.  He's busy texting.  There is no way he doesn't notice me.  There are two other men in close proximity who, though the room is full of standing women, some elderly, don't budge.

Let's get something straight.  This is not a man vs. woman; feminism issue in my mind.  I am not old fashioned when it comes to women's rights.  I think I am perfectly capable of doing everything a man can, and then some.  But didn't that guy's parents teach him any manners?  If there were a single dad standing next to me struggling with a baby and a toddler and I were by myself, I would have gotten up and given him my seat.  And even if I had my kids... I would have made some effort to help him.  I'd give my seat to an old lady or an old man.  I would offer to move over.

I watched him.  When his wife finally arrived, he didn't get up for her either.  When the other couple they were meeting arrived he stayed seated.  When his little buzzer deal went off, he got up.

I thought of saying something.  I texted my husband about it.  My text included some choice words.  He texted back, "You should have said something."  What was I going to say?  I would have been the crazy hormonal woman and it wouldn't have made a bit of difference to him.

But what about manners?  What about taking a look around you every once in a while?  What about offering a helping hand?  Are manners and just simple courtesy dead?

A Little Sorry... Written Apologies

by Chantel

To the Little Girl on the Playground ,


I'm sorry that I called you a liar when you told me that your grandpa was your biological father. And now that I am old enough to know what that means...I'm even more sorry that your mom is your sister and your brother is your uncle.

To the mean girl in P.E. ,


I'm sorry I let you shame me into never wearing my favorite shoes again. After I dug deep in the clearance bin to find them, my mom paid $3.99 for those bad boys. And I don't care what you say - electric blue, vinyl low tops are bitchin'.


To Michael C. ,


I'm sorry that I treated you like a scrawny weakling and rolled my eyes in disgust when you couldn't lift all 120 lbs of my dead weight in that dance sequence we did together and that the teacher had to move us to the back row. I am now willing to accept some personal responsibility for our failure...I guess I could have jumped a little.


To Rhonda D. ,


I'm sorry we would call you a "fashion leper" almost to your face. I can't say you deserved it...but I hope you have come to realize that a grape-purple, polk-a-dot, ruffled chiffon blouse with matching beret is a bit much.

A Little Thanks... An All-Purpose Thank You

by Chantel

I am chronically terrible at sending thank you notes. Not for the lack of good breeding or intentions. I happen to have a lovely collection of some really darling note cards and I even occasionally write them out. But there is always a stamp to buy or an address to hunt down and before I know it the thank you note statute of limitations is long passed and I am left with the guilt and shame of a procrastinating ingrate.

So in the spirit of restitution, I would like to offer this universal note of thanks to the women who have made my life a little easier and made me a little better.

Thank you -

Thank you for watching my dog, my kids, my house. Thank you for the meals when I was sick. Thank you for the advice and the Diet Cokes. Thank you for lying, for telling the truth and for knowing what I needed to hear.

Thank you for loving my kids and scolding them. Thank you for the long walks, the lunches, the time. Thank you for listening.

Thanks for being older or younger than me. Thank you for your talents and your criticism. Thank you for the gift, the ride, the cup of sugar. Thanks for the suggestion, for the perspective and the doughnut. Especially the doughnut.

Thank you for the meltdown, the freak-out, the fight. Thank you for the apology and for your forgiveness. Thanks for your patience, your example and your recipes.

Thank you for valuing my opinion and for putting me in my place. Thank you for doing my dishes and my hair. Thanks for the baby shower, the birthday party and the late nights.

Thank you for the thoughts, the prayers and the concern. Thank you for the laughs. Thank you for it all. Thanks again.

Thanks.