A Little Respect... The "R" Word

Many times since our move there is a little word that has popped up in conversations. It's a word that makes me cringe at its utterance. I wonder, how one little word can bring so much emotion?

The most heart braking utterance of the word came about in a meeting at my daughter's school. The head of the Special Education department was trying her best to softly deliver the blow; the classification in our new state is a bit different. Where my daughter's classification used to be "Multiple Disabilities", her speech delay currently outweighs her physical delays, and in the state of Texas the classification she currently falls into is "MR".

This is where I grab my chair and bite my lip hoping the tears don't come. You see "MR" stands for Mental Retardation. The term was so difficult for this educator that she couldn't even say the word. Now, the state we just left does not use that term; in fact that particular word in our home is called the "R" word. We don't use the "R" word. Its not that I have a problem with development delays; I love how my sweet girl views the world. I wish more people emphasized skills of kindness over math facts. I do take offense to the word because of the other ways I hear this word used. Which leads me to the times I have heard it used of late.

We were talking to a friend when they referred to a rule with the "R" word. I watched my husband's visible cringe, his face mimicked my heart. I hear kids at the store referring to things they don't like with the "R" word, people around me using it to imply bad, slow, dislikable, off-center, askew, or just plain different.

So my child is a little different, I thought we had learned to celebrate different. I thought this was a time, a generation, where different could be seen for its beauty. I love her differences. I have learned so much from my daughter about appreciation for the little things. I have learned the wonders of the world and trust me when I say the aren't times tables. My daughter may never have the kind of job that most view as successful, but she is already successful in my eyes. My little miracle has overcome more than many will ever have to and I know that her challenges may have just begun. Especially when I hear this hurtful word thrown around so freely.

So, I'm asking anyone who reads this to please remove the "R" word from your vocabulary. As one mom puts it, "Its not a matter of political correctness, its a matter of respect." Chances are you know someone who would be hurt to hear you use this word, chances are you know someone who has been referred to in a mean way by this word. Consider that person, how would they feel.

A Little Crafty...Pom Pom Crafts

I bought a pom pom maker or four to be exact. It might be the best thing ever for my ten and eight year old. We have spent hours making pom poms, which is great when you have four restless, sick kids. Now, what to do with your pom poms?

How about headbands

or hair bands.

Pom pom owls or sheep,

flowers,

A garland,

and check out this wedding bouquet,

amazing. Think of how cute a prom boutonniere would be.

So save your Michael's and Hobby Lobby coupons and go get a pom pom maker.

A Little Crafty...Snowflake Garland

Needing a project for three restless kids one chilly afternoon, I suggested snowflakes. They wanted something a little more. So I promised we would spice them up afterward. So we started off making a lot of snowflakes in different sizes. We folded, cut, and pressed.
My four-year-old can do this too, as long as I do the folding first. (And yes, he is wearing a headband, it has Yoda ears attached to it. Notice his Jedi master hoodie.)
Then, using my sewing machine and regular thread, I sewed them together one after another to make a garland. We hung multiple garlands vertically down the windows like a curtain for a winter wonderland.

A Little Parenting... Teachers Loving Your Child

The last few weeks have been difficult. Every time I drop my little one off at school I just want to scream, "Love my daughter!" When I pick her up from school she is the first one out the door. One hand on the door knob, one hand on the jamb, she jumps up and down when she sees me. I swoop in and pick her up and I get a big hug. She leans back and looks at me with a "don't ever leave me again" look. (It's amazing how expressive a non-verbal child can be.) And I know she feels loved again.

At her last school I knew her teachers loved her and she loved them back. Since the move, we are more limited in our resources and our choice of schools has narrowed to one. I want to explain to her teachers that they have to be honest with her because she will know how they feel. I want them to see her abilities instead of dwelling on her inabilities; to see her dynamic personality and strength not the fact that she gets tired when she walks for too long. I want them to realize that the same determination that makes her fall on the floor when she doesn't want to do something can be directed towards learning and working.

Before the move we discovered that she can identify her entire uppercase alphabet. We were talking about lowercase alphabet and sight words, the prospect of beginning to learn to read was looming ahead. Now I feel I am just trying to make sure they don't leave her in her wheelchair all day.
I know my feelings aren't any different than any parents, because I feel the same way about my other kids. I think the difference with her is that she is easier to ignore. This move has been most difficult for that reason. Each day, for all my kids, I want to take them to school in the morning knowing that they will learn from someone who cares about children and not just a quota. I want their teachers to be happy when they do well and excited to see their smiles. I used to feel that, I hope I will again. Until then I will silently plead as I drop them off for school, "love my child."

A Little Crafty... Silver Antiqued Ornaments

Years ago I saw directions for silvering glass ornaments in Martha Stewart Living and since I love mercury glass our tree has since been decorated with silvered ornaments. Three moves, four kids later we need more ornament (they reflect the light beautifully.) I went to the Martha Stewart website and could not find the directions anywhere; luckily I remember how I did it last time (I think.)

You need a box of glass, not shatterproof, ornaments, ammonia, water, a glass measuring cup, and a small funnel (if you have it.) Carefully remove the ornaments from the divider and take out the clip in the top. Place the ornaments back in the divider facing top up. (Ammonia is a chemical and the instructions on the back should be read and followed.)
Fill half of your glass measuring cup with ammonia and half with water, you need a 50/50 mixture.
Fill the ornaments with the ammonia/water mix and leave overnight.
The next day pour out the chemical and rinse carefully under cool water. you may want to place a paper towel in the sink to catch any paint that comes off the outside of the ornament. You should have a nice cloudy effect that resembles an antique ornament. Not all ornaments work and each ornament has a different effect.
This year I used Walmart brand silver ornaments, I realized they are already silver, but I wanted antiqued. I used the silver ornaments because the clip was silver and not gold. Thrift store ornaments work great because it doesn't matter if they are scratched. See the cloudy, not overly shiny, uneven silver color? That is what I love.
Every ornament reacts differently, this is a try at your own risk project, but for around $2 a dozen I'm okay with that. And sometimes the ones that don't work out have a nice effect.

A Little Christmas... Gift Wrapping Party

During the holidays it is always difficult to get together with friends. My favorite way is to have a gift wrapping party. The party starts after bedtime, so we aren't taking time away from families and we are wrapping presents, a chore that should never be done alone.

The secret is to keep it simple. I send out an invitation by email (its all about easy), supply tape and scissors and set up stations. We have a supplies station...

and a hot chocolate station.
I move the furniture back so we can wrap on the floor, put in some Christmas music, and that's it. Everyone brings a bag of treats to keep us going and we wrap presents into the wee hours. The conversation is great, the preparation is minimal, and at the end of the party I've even accomplished something. It doesn't get much better.

A Little Insight... Making a Change

You may or may not have noticed my limited presence here at A Little Great. It isn't because I don't love writing and coming up with projects, but simply because I have less time. See, my family is going through some big changes, which involves a move of 1300 miles. My husband is taking a job in rural Texas and this suburban family is moving to the country.

Change scares me, it always has. Usually a change involves the unknown and while history tells me the unknown can be wonderful, I just don't know that yet. I used to think I could be happy anywhere, but it hasn't always been that way. We moved around a lot when I was young and while I never fully got used to it, I learned to accept and make the best of the situation. My dad however, was a gypsy at heart, a new town, a new house, a new adventure.

Through the years of my married life, we too have moved around. In the pursuit of my husband's career we have lived in three different states. We have met some wonderful people and had amazing experiences. But it is hard. I remember the loneliness and insecurity of being in a new place. Sometimes there was even depression while I tried to adjust to my new life. It scares me to be doing this again.

I love where I live. Our house, schools, neighborhood, and church have become these families that I love. They help me raise my children and better myself, they are my village. There are wonderful memories here that I will hold onto forever because they have forever changed me. As I get ready for this change I have been filing away moments in my heart. There are so many moments that I love, so many people I will miss.

While some things will change I know there are things that will stay with me always, my little family, my need to craft, my love of writing here at A Little Great. There are so many things that make me who I am. I hope I can find more to learn and love even in the unknown.

A Little Organization... Kid's Collections

My kids are collectors (they get it honest) and many collections have gathered around our house. After a recent trip to the beach brought home collections of shells, rocks, and sea glass, we really needed to corral our treasures.

I had been saving spaghetti jars for some time and they seemed like the perfect size. I spray painted the lids, filled them up, and lined them up on a shelf.
My husband is unsure of glass in a kids room, but so far all is well. We keep them up on a shelf and they are fun to look at and enjoy.

A Little DIY... Lamp Makeover

We have had these lamps since we first got married. For years they served us well as bedside lamps in our little apartment in South Carolina, but the shades had melted on the inside and they were really outdated. So, a move later and they had been replaced and discovered a new home on a shelf in my closet.

After painting our family room, I decided we needed to improve the lighting. Instead of running out and buying new lamps I decided to try painting these old ones. Using a little inspiration, I got out some flat white spray paint and added a touch of black paint here and there. Some new lamp shades and I have beautiful new lighting for the mantle.
The cost of the shades and paint was much lower than new lights would have been and look how pretty it looks at night.

A Little Parenting... Improving Sleep Habits in Kids

Now that my kids are back in school, our Summer sleep habits are starting to have an effect. I struggle to keep my kids in bed, they struggle to get to sleep and change their habits. So the other night I reached for my copy of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I read the chapter on seven to fourteen year-olds and realized that the chronic tummy aches and morning whining were symptoms of sleep deprivation. With the days getting shorter, bedtime can be earlier.

Now the problem is how to help them get to sleep. We have bedtime routines and rituals that vary from child to child. My five-year-old listens to music, my four-year-old has his favorite bear and blanket. My older girls struggle to settle for the night, especially my oldest. She has an imagination that never slows, so rather than fighting it we try to work with it. Some of the things we have tried in the past are:

Magic pillow spray, we spray it on her pillow playing up the magic effects of the spray. I don't use it often but instead try to keep it as a treat. I also emphasize that the spray won't work if they get up, the have to be lay down and most importantly, believe that it will work.

Massage. I started baby massage with all four of my kids (not always successfully.) My son does not like his eyes or feet touched, but he loves having his cheeks stroked. When my daughter was in the hospital, understanding baby touch really helped. Sometimes an IV would prevent me from holding her hand, but I knew from experience some of the other forms of touch she might respond to, such as her eyebrows or jawline. I know this may sound weird, but touch is important to all of us and can have an especially calming effect. Think of how many kids ask to have their backs tickled.

Dream fairies, this is a sensory relaxation technique using mental focus to relax. First, I ask for a place they would like to go in their dreams. Then with a light touch on their nose, mouth, cheeks, eyes, ears, and forehead, I tell them the things they will smell, taste, feel, see, hear, and experience there. For example, if they wanted to go to the beach, with their eyes closed I would describe that smell of the ocean, the taste of salt in the air, the sounds of the waves crashing on the shore. I might describe the way the sun feels on their face, the sand beneath their feet, the sound of the gulls flying overhead, etc. You have to use your imagination.

Progressive muscle relaxation. There are many methods, but what works best for us is, I tell my daughter to imagine her body increasing in weight. It is growing heavier as she sinks deeper into the bed. It starts in her tummy, as her core slowly sinks into the bed, then I move to her hips and shoulders, legs and arms, and finally head, hands, and feet. I keep my voice slow and soft.

My hope is that my kids can learn techniques now that will help them to calm down in many situations. And if an extra five minutes at night stops the morning crazies, I'll take it.

A Little Perspective... Stop that Complaining!

A few years ago I read an article in Real Simple that talked about complaining. I don't want to be a complainer, so I read the article to my husband and we discussed it, as well as our complaints. I can't say I have stopped complaining, but I am trying. So here are the things the article discussed that I am trying to stop complaining about:

1. The weather - everyone who can hear you is dealing with the same weather, when its hot we want it cold, when its cold we want it hot. I grew up in California, the weather was perfect, but we always complained about the coastal wind. When I go back now I love that coastal breeze. My husband and I agreed that since we like the warm better than the cold, we would never again complain on a hot day. After all, Winter is always just around the corner.

2. Traffic - again everyone deals with it. And if you are in the thick of it, so are the people listening to you complain. I don't like traffic and I avoid it. My husband usually works odd hours and doesn't hit the commuter crowd, but occasionally he can't avoid it. So when he gets home on those days I try not to complain about his lateness, after all he was the one sitting in the immovable throng. It could be worse.

3. Being busy - is it really so bad to be busy. I am really bad about this one. I think I thrive on busyness, and while I think I complain about being busy to excuse my scatter brain, I don't want it to come across as bragging. Yes, my life is busy and truthfully, I like it that way.

4. Tired - too relative, most of us are tired. Sometimes I find this becomes my easy answer to "How are you?" I think I use tired as an excuse for forgetfulness too. There are times when I think, "If I pass out in public will they call an ambulance? And if they do does that mean I get to sleep at a hospital?" Realistically I know that sleeping in a hospital isn't restful, but tired plays tricks on us. I'm tired, you are probably tired, none of us gets enough sleep. Yes, I AM TIRED, but you don't need to hear about it. I'm giving this complaint up. One time I fell asleep standing up,doing the dishes, it has been worse.

5. Fat - if you're not really, then complaining about it is insulting and if you are, then you risk an uncomfortable silence that can be hurtful. The reality is I want my twenty-two-year-old body back, but I don't want to be twenty-two again. I like who I am now. I feel good, I'm comfortable with who I am, I'm trying to be better in many ways. This is one three-letter word I am tossing out of my vocabulary, for my sake and the sake of my daughters.

So there it is, my list of forbidden topics. I'm giving up complaining and never looking back, or at least until someone cuts me off on the freeway.